Personal Dating Services
Online Dating Sites
What's the difference?
For starters, an online
dating sites lets the members choose their match; a personal
dating service does the choosing for members.
Being an independent
sort, choosing your own match may sound like a better
Let's be realistic,
All you have to base
your selection on is what the person told you on his/her
data sheet or video. Chances are pretty good he/she didn't
say much about less appealing characteristics.
After each match,
a good matchmaker gets feedback from both parties about
compatibility and suitability. He\she develops a good
feel for individual preferences and personalities.
do a better job, simply because they are better informed
that we can ever hope to be.
The second difference,
related to the first, is who gets "chosen."
In a "free for
all" environment such as the online dating sites,
it seems the "hottest" 10% of the people see
most of the "action." These are the same people
who do well at happy hours, parties, dances, and everywhere
There is nothing wrong
with that, more power to them. But the rest of us neat
people may be overlooked in the "feeding frenzy"
to grab those 10%.
Matchmakers gain an
appreciation for the individuality and uniqueness of each
person in their group. They can match people who might
never realize they would make a lasting couple.
The third difference
The online dating
site recruits as many people as possible. It's your job
to find someone in the group you would like to meet who
is willing to meet you.
Even if the online
dating sites already has a hundred people similar to you,
and even if those folks are having no luck meeting anyone
who is interested in them, that is o.k. You can still
join. Who knows, maybe your luck will be better!?!
In any event, after
your transaction clears, you are on your own with online
Personal Dating Services
and Introduction Agents / Matchmakers, on the other hand,
actually match you with members.
That means they must
know at the time they accept you, they have some folks
who fit you.
That also means they
can't accept everyone who wants to join.
If other singles similar
to you are having a hard time matching someone, the matchmaker
cannot ethically bring you into the group.
Because it probably
won't work for you either until new members change the
The fourth difference
involves those valuable commodities, your time and your
very tender heart.
In a dating service,
you make many trips to and from the office. This is very
We all know it is
easy to have "chemistry" with people who don't
have a chance of maintaining a compatible, life-long relationship
with us. Unfortunately, lust blinds us to this incompatibility
So the time wasted
driving and going through files is nothing compared to
wasting six or seven months of your life when the one
you picked turns out to be the wrong person for you.
The matchmaker does
the "work" for you. based on your criteria,
he/she rules out many people who might look right, but
have no chance of a relationship with you.
Even more important,
a matchmaker, via feedback from members, can normally
spot that not-so-nice person with the good personality
who can break your heart.
So a matchmaker saves
you time and possibly, heartbreak. If your time and heart
are as important to you as mine are to me, that's a crucial
factor in choosing between the two types of services.
I realize it sounds
as if I am biased in favor of matchmakers & personal
Based on my research,
I am convinced matchmakers do a better job for a higher
percentage of their members.
Does this mean all
matchmaking services are a good deal?
Not all. Some are
no better than the worst oneline dating sites, and some
of the dating sites are a perfect fit for some people.
Like everything else, you have to use good judgment.
To help you judge,
let me suggest some things to consider:
OK, this is straight
from the "Smart Consumer 101" class but it needs
to be mentioned.
The right matchmaker
can help you find someone who is a good fit for you.
A online dating service
can provide you a with a way to contact a lot of people
who are looking for someone often anyone to date.
Not doing either leaves
you exactly where you are now.